The Most Stressful Words We Tell Ourselves
Want an eye opening experience? Track your thoughts for a week. Simply observe that endless stream of inner chatter flowing unconsciously, like elevator music, in the background of your life. What you will find will likely surprise you. If you are anything like me, you will be shocked and amazed at how downright pervasive, mean and judgmental that inner dialog can be.
Why is tracking our self talk so important? Because words matter. Words are energy and intention given the power of creation. What we say to ourselves, the words we utter even in the deepest recesses of our unconscious mind, creates our experience of reality. Our physiology, psyche and spirit are sourced in primitive truths. Thus, our instinctual programming doesn’t know the different between a real threat and a perceived one. Telling ourselves, “I’m such a failure.” creates a neurological storm of chemical reactions that affects us physically. Stressful thoughts create stress responses in the body. Ninety-seven percent of the chatter in our heads today is the same as it was yesterday, and of that 78 percent is negative in nature. If the vast majority of our thinking is stressful, is it any wonder we have such an issue with stress in our lives?
Stress is a huge problem in our current culture and it affects us negatively on all levels. Perhaps, it’s not what we are doing, but what we are thinking. Maybe it is those latent and often overlooked inner instructions we constantly give ourselves causing so much stress in our lives.
The most stressful words we can say to ourselves and what to say instead:
Should: The word should implies what we “ought” to do and indicates duty, propriety, or expediency basing our actions on our head rather than our heart. Should goes hand-in-hand with shame, as it judges our actions through a template of outside expectations and truths creating a stress response. Replacing I should with I desire sources our power through authenticity and unites us with our own truth.
Always or Never: The words always and never are words of finality and black-or-white thinking. They are stressful words because they leave no room for change, growth or error. Instead of always or never, try sometimes which is much more accurate, it evokes compassion, patience and allows room for transformation.
Have to: When we declare we have to do something, we change the energy of the task itself. For example, when we have to go to work, have to teach that class, have to write that report, we feel stuck, trapped and without choice. Telling ourselves we have no choice is very stressful. It is also not true. We always have the choice to do something or not do something. Replace I have to with I choose to and instantly feel how your energy shifts.
Stress has detrimental effects on all facets of our lives, physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. When our inner chatter is mainly negative, harsh and unrealistic, it exacerbates any stress we are under. We simply accept our thoughts as fact. Fortunately, our unconscious tapes are not fixed in stone. We absolutely can shift our inner chatter to reflect what is more empowering and more accurate, which has a direct effect on our stress levels. Transforming our inner dialog may not happen overnight, as it has taken time and repetition to get there in the first place, but through awareness and practice, we can absolutely change habitual thinking and reduce the stress in our lives.
The Most Stressful Words We Tell Ourselves
Want an eye opening experience? Track your thoughts for a week. Simply observe that endless stream of inner chatter flowing unconsciously, like elevator music, in the background of your life. What you will find will likely surprise you. If you are anything like me, you will be shocked and amazed at how downright pervasive, mean and judgmental that inner dialog can be.
Why is tracking our self talk so important? Because words matter. Words are energy and intention given the power of creation. What we say to ourselves, the words we utter even in the deepest recesses of our unconscious mind, creates our experience of reality. Our physiology, psyche and spirit are sourced in primitive truths. Thus, our instinctual programming doesn’t know the different between a real threat and a perceived one. Telling ourselves, “I’m such a failure.” creates a neurological storm of chemical reactions that affects us physically. Stressful thoughts create stress responses in the body. Ninety-seven percent of the chatter in our heads today is the same as it was yesterday, and of that 78 percent is negative in nature. If the vast majority of our thinking is stressful, is it any wonder we have such an issue with stress in our lives?
Stress is a huge problem in our current culture and it affects us negatively on all levels. Perhaps, it’s not what we are doing, but what we are thinking. Maybe it is those latent and often overlooked inner instructions we constantly give ourselves causing so much stress in our lives.
The most stressful words we can say to ourselves and what to say instead:
Should: The word should implies what we “ought” to do and indicates duty, propriety, or expediency basing our actions on our head rather than our heart. Should goes hand-in-hand with shame, as it judges our actions through a template of outside expectations and truths creating a stress response. Replacing I should with I desire sources our power through authenticity and unites us with our own truth.
Always or Never: The words always and never are words of finality and black-or-white thinking. They are stressful words because they leave no room for change, growth or error. Instead of always or never, try sometimes which is much more accurate, it evokes compassion, patience and allows room for transformation.
Have to: When we declare we have to do something, we change the energy of the task itself. For example, when we have to go to work, have to teach that class, have to write that report, we feel stuck, trapped and without choice. Telling ourselves we have no choice is very stressful. It is also not true. We always have the choice to do something or not do something. Replace I have to with I choose to and instantly feel how your energy shifts.
Stress has detrimental effects on all facets of our lives, physically, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. When our inner chatter is mainly negative, harsh and unrealistic, it exacerbates any stress we are under. We simply accept our thoughts as fact. Fortunately, our unconscious tapes are not fixed in stone. We absolutely can shift our inner chatter to reflect what is more empowering and more accurate, which has a direct effect on our stress levels. Transforming our inner dialog may not happen overnight, as it has taken time and repetition to get there in the first place, but through awareness and practice, we can absolutely change habitual thinking and reduce the stress in our lives.